Why Vampires > Werewolves and why I win hard.

*Key:
M=Me
K=Keith

M: do you want to watch forbidden vampire love story?

K: NO

K: NOOOOOOOOOO

M: LOL the keywords for it are:

K: fail

K: negative

M: vampire, small-town, high-school, single-parent, forbidden-love, supernatural-powers, tracking [following]

K: do not want

K: divide by zero

M: Its a winner. Look at the keywords. How can you not win with those words?!! Especially tracking [following]

M: you can't divide by zero because then the limit doesn't exist!!

M: zero can't be in the denominator

M: its against nature

K: thats the point

K: i would rather divide by zero and completely fuck reality as we know it than watch that movie

M: WHAT?! How can you say forbidden vampire love is against nature?!!

M: its so romantic I want to kill myself

M: I need to meet more magic folk like myself.

K: lol

M: why can't I almost get hit by a car and get saved by a hot vampire?

K: gnomes?

M: no I want sexy magic people

M: LOL

K: dude

K: all i have to say is

K: in the most popular vampire setting

K: werewolves > vampires big time

M: uhh no

K: lol

M: we all know they are mortal enemies

M: but werewolves do not always > vampires

K: lol

K: in that thing they dooo

M: vampires are way hotter...and so they can prey on people easier

M: hence, they have more energy/power to fight werewolves

K: what? getting food easier doesnt mean youre stronger

M: vs. werewolves who actually have to chase people down....and according to the organic meat theory, stressed out meat (ie. people getting chased by a werewolf vs. a person lured into getting bitten by a vampire)

M: is not as good for you

M: so vampires are getting better nutrients, and less likely to get cancer hence vampires > werewolves

M: I think I win.

M: check mate

K: nope. you dont win at all

M: WHAT?!

K: your logic is crap

M: That is AUTOMATIC WIN

LOL WUT?

The article that accompanied this photo on style.com had me scratching my head from confusion.

"Many Americans were outraged at the amount of attention paid to the

Narciso Rodriguez dress Michelle Obama wore on election night, as if all
that talk about her attire somehow trivialized the occasion. But we choose
to see Mrs. O's fashion risk-taking as a small but potent sign that the next
four (eight?) years won't be politics—or pantsuits—as usual."

Is it me or is this stupendously exaggerated? Were Americans REALLY outraged at this Narcisco Dress?? LOL. I mean come on, its just a knee length black dress with red glittery embellishment. If they were outraged at this, what would happen at the ice skating competitions? Would people throw their babies at the sight of Sasha whatever her last name is' swarovski crystalled power mesh number?

What this Blog is about

This is NOT a blog to bitch about things or to be a bitch, although I will occasionally be bitch....particularly about the FUG girls.


"Not to be a bitch but...." is a phrase from Ja'mie from Summer Heights High. She uses it before she says things like "and Seriously, I don't want to be bitch....but she's like the fugliest girl I've met in my life." It's a joke. Don't take it personal.

Here's a link if you want to experience Ja'mie King's amazingness for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6Gc3nU3oOg

Aside from the random ranting, I like fashion so you will see a lot of it scattered about...and food...so do not be surprised to see entries about chicken and waffle fries, banana pancakes, and assorted restaurant reviews.

Other things to know about me:

1. I enjoy Harry Potter books immensely. I intend to get my letter of acceptance to Hogwarts when I die and will start as a first year at age 90 although with wizardry, I will obviously be restored to youthful beauty. Also, instead of donning the traditional wizarding robes, I will wear Chanel wizarding robes.

2. I really like cute boys.

3. I love Chick flicks and ridiculously retardalicious movies like Kung-Pow.

4. My personality is shaped by Sailormoon, Stephen Chow movies, and Young Adult Vampire Romance Stories (I can't believe I haven't seen or read Twilight), 90s music, and my sister who's personality traits include: iron-palm, secret gangsterness, ass beating skills, and having lots of game, although I did not inherit any of the hardcoreness she posesses....I think the Sailormoonism destroyed it.

5. I am tired of writing for now so you'll get to know more about me if I don't get too lazy to ever update.

Why is my mom so mean?

Location: Stanford Shopping Center

Specific Location: Burberry @ Stanford Shopping Center

Time: 3:?? PM

Event: Alleged Asians Fighting over Quilted Coats/30% off Sale at Burberry

I Ran into an old friend from Berkeley who informed me that Asians were pillaging Burberry and one had ripped a jacket out of her hand so I obviously needed to go see carnage for myself. Since my mom falls into the category of interested in Burberry sale Asian moms, she suggested going into Burberry even before I told her about what was going on. In we stroll, no fights in sight, but in front of every mirror are Asian women trying on the same quilted jacket in different colors. Then I spot the lace pre-collection Burberry Prorsum short trench. OHHH its sooo cute...and they had it in my size!!! No one had thought about looking at it which is why when I pulled it out and tried it on (and not to be a bitch but...)the sale woman was like "OMG, that is so cute on you," then another one of the associates whispered what size is that in her ear...obviously going to use the employee discount to buy it...since my mom didn't want to buy it for me.

I spent the rest of the day wanting to throw a temper tantrum but since I am a lady...and totally beyond the temper tantrum in public on most occasions....I just muttered under my breath how mean an Asian mom my mom was and how I wished I was Taiwanese because Taiwanese moms buy their daughters everything they want.

Note*: Judging by the photos alone, that coat is really whatever, not worth throwing temper tantrums about but in person, it is soo much nicer. The piping isn't as harsh, the length is perfect, and the sleeves are slim cut and divine.

Another Note*: I'm only kidding. I really love my mom even though she's Chinese and hates buying me luxurious things. She's not that mean. She makes up for the lack of Burberry trench coats with packs of rice crackers and green tea.