Friday, May 29, 2009

Is this necessary?

This has to be either the most ridiculous or most awesome werewolf depiction I've ever seen. IT HAS EYEBALLS ON ITS KNUCKLES. It also has tattoos, cartilage piercings, and is so bad ass that it makes trees bleed.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Damn me for being stupid in 2005

Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I totally crush on boys who wear Bape or BBC from head to toe, or it could be Charlotte and I's dorky crushes on Nigo and Pharrell...but I am desperately searching for this issue so I can sleep with it under my pillow and have sweet dreams.

Judging from the bold declarations on the cover, this issue is the perfect representation of everything currently in my life. Icons, hip hop, *BLING BLING!*, Pharrell and Nigo, Tokyo (summer trip for nails, Bape Cafe, hot guys, food, and fun with my girls!), Karl Lagerfeld/Chanel, TAKESHI KANESHIRO and Chiaki Kuriyama aka. Go Go from Kill Bill because every girl should know how to swing a spiked ball and chain and do karate.

As soon as I have a chance, I'm going to the CSM library to look it up and see if its worthy of my drooling.

Just So I Never Forget This Existed

If you haven't already heard...the famous wolf shirt review. I love it too much to let it fade into oblivion in a few months so I have to archive it here. For my viewing pleasure and yours.

8,407 of 8,476 people found the following review helpful:
Dual Function Design, November 10, 2008

By B. Govern "Bee-Dot-Govern"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him. I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Oh Sunday....

Meet my bestfriend, Takoyaki.I see her every Sunday. She's the most photogenic person I know.

Me with Teddy Gilliam and Shaun Samson. There will be blogs on them later because I love them so much. Shaun just showed his BA menswear graduation collection for St. Martins. Will try to get photos for you all later even though it appears only 4 people follow this blog LOL LOL LOL.

In case you're wondering, the hat is Stephen Jones for Marc Jacobs.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Lisa Marie Fernandez, You Sexy Bitch!

These are the most perfect swim suits in existence. They are simple, sporty, and will flatten the hell out of your boobs, leaving you with amazing sports cleavage, ie. small, rounded, perky, slightly pushed together with a bit of a muscular undertone.
Although I will admit, I'm not really a beach person nor do I get much of a chance to swim, I would want to wear just the top so I can look like a Miami Beach Chola; a little bit of fake mole, super cute bandana, hoop earrings and I'm set!!
The original version I saw was white with black side panels, super sexy.
P.S. If you need extra convincing as to why they are amazing, they are made of neopreneeeeeeee! <3<3<3

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Pharell Williams Do You Fit The Bill?

Is Pharell Williams my dream guy?

He skateboards.

He dresses well.

He's creative.

He's hot.
Obviously my real dream guy list is longer than this, approximately 4 pages long...and there are still more qualities I discover that I want everyday. When you're perfect, its what you gotta do to seperate the diamonds from the cubiczirconias. LOL.
P.S. I need a new look and I am feeling a little bit ghetto fab!!! As Marlon Wayans once taught Cindy in Scary Movie 2, "Y'ALL MEAN?!!!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Holy Mother of Christ!!!

I just had a massive heart attack. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is on the cover of the new Vman Summer 2009 issue. I love him so much it hurts to look at him and believe it or not, this cover has saved my life. Well, sort of.
Sometimes I get a little heart achey over certain boys, I won't say who, and my usual unicorn-like aura gets a little dull. It makes my friends worry, which I don't now I propose this solution. Anytime I get sad, all I need to do is get a new picture of JGL.
Enough of the personal blips in my life for now, this new issue of Vman also has an article with Ashley Olsen and what she does with The Row. They're going to be launching their first menswear line. EXCITINGGGGG!!!! I can't wait to get my hands on it!! It'll incapacitate my heart for a few hours so I can stop thinking about crushes since my biggest crush ever is right on the cover!! <3<3<3<3<3

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Hate Your Boyfriend's Personality?

It's probably because his star sign sucks. Why don't we make them give birth to themselves again at the right time so they can be more compatible with your sign. For example, I'm a Cancer, I'd like my next boyfriend to be a Scorpio. I'd ask that if the next guy isn't a Scorpio, to be reborn around Oct 22-Nov. 22.

Here's what you need to do:

1. Gather a large party as witness to his rebirth ( a little like a Baptism)

2. Get a large sweatshirt.

3. Make them squeeze their whole body out of the neckhole while everyone cheers him on.

Voila! Born again!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, May 4, 2009


SERIOUSLY? Coinciding with what I've been going through?? I'm soooo over it. Nas and Kelis, are filing for divorce...she's 7 months pregnant...obviously, he's a cheater. FUCK HIM. Kelis is so much cuter than that fat bastard. I will say this to you cheating bastards out there, all of you regret what you do afterwards. Those are some good women you are messing with....and as the asians say in Pineapple Express, "Prepare to suck the cock of Karma!"

I am rarely that vulgar but man this pissed me off so badly. Look at him being all gross and looking like an imbecile. FUCK YOU NAS, you cheating S.O.B. Kelis is too much woman for you anyway.

This is why I will never have a baby. I'd hate to be tied down to someone. If my man cheats on me, I will be the first one to walk off, preferably in Christian Louboutin for Rodarte spiked heels because they'd add to the drama and make you look ultra hot. Also, if you trip in them, maybe your next Knight in Shining Armor, or a prince, will rescue you.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I don't think I can illustrate just how much I love crosses

I can't stop thinking about Crosses. Here is the most perfect cross in the whole world. It reminds me of my Lacroix shirt.

and these bad boys:

You can't see it that well but there's a cross on the heel. Its so delicious.

If any of these objects were alive, I'd tell it to sit its sexy ass down. I can't handle that much sexy!!!!!!!!

I'm not really the marrying kind but...

Here's the deal. I'm not that fond of the idea of marriage. It scares me just a little but I'll let you all in on a little secret. I'm pretty sure not many guys like to read this blog, afterall, the immense amount of Tween boy crush blogs is likely to scare them away so I feel pretty safe revealing one of my main 'just say yes,' marriage terms.

The engagement ring. Custom made Chanel fine jewelry....but this ready-to-wear jewelry version is the epitome of YES. My obsession with crosses combined with my love of Chanel? Its perfection. I would buy it for myself for my birthday, but Chanel jewelry comes only in standard 7.5, which is a little bit too big, and I can't find it anymore. So until I get with a guy who understands jewelry and me, and either finds it for me, has it resized, or gets it custom made for me, I will be waiting with baited breath.

Chanel Cross Ring......I. Love. You. (whisper)